Oscar and Matty interview writer, JD Burns

The cast:

  • Oscar: The main character. A 13 year old boy who has leaves growing from his head.
  • Matty: Oscar’s friend and crown prince of the Forestvale Nation.
  • JD Burns: Our intrepid author.

JD Burns: [stands up and offers his hand as Matty enters the office] Hi Matty. Great to finally meet you.

Matty: [eyes JD’s hand. Offers his own hand – palm down and wrist bent.] I am Prince Mathias Tyberion Langston, son and heir to his lordship, King –

JD Burns: Yes, yes. Of course, I know all about you. I’m a big fan. So where’s Oscar?

Matty: I’m sorry. Who?

JD Burns: Oscar. The main character. The boy with leaves growing from his head- in the story he finds out he’s a wood troll.

Matty: Oh. Twig Head. He said something about a hair appointment with the gardener.

JD Burns: [furrows brow] Really? When I talked to him he seemed really excited about interviewing me today. I sent all the details to the castle steward.

Matty: [smiles a little too widely] Well, you know wood trolls. They’re notorious for being undependable. He probably just messed up the dates…or accidently got locked in one of the castle bedrooms…the one down at the end of the west hall…where no one can hear his cries for help.

JD Burns: Wait…what?

Matty: Oh relax. [hops into chair] The night sentry will find him eventuall and besides I left some dried mud and old moss in there. He can eat that if he’s hungry.

JD Burns: He’s a wood troll, not a moose.

Matty: So anyway. I’m ready, now. What questions do you have for me?

JD Burns: [slides back down into chair] I hope Oscar will be Ok. Uh? Questions? No, I’m not interviewing you. You’re supposed to interview me.

Matty: Oh even better. [rubs hands] First question: What are you serving me for dinner? Today is Tuesday so that’s normally Roast Goose. Don’t suppose you have goose do you? Preferably with a blackberry gingerbread sauce, but I’ll settle for cranberry if that makes things easier for you.

JD Burns: Goose? No, not those kind of questions, Matty. You need to ask me things about the story. You know, the one I wrote about you and Oscar.

Matty: [sighs] So I suppose asking about desert is out of the question too. No need to answer, I can figure it out for myself. [carefully brushes the front of his cotton tunic] So, first question. What exactly is it you do?

JD Burns: Well, I’m a writer. Like I said I wrote THE BOY AND THE SILVER TREE. It’s a story about how Oscar finds out he’s a wood troll and has to talk the Dryad Queen into giving him an apple. He needs the apple to replant the Bane-tree, which is like a prison for the dark wizard Moedredd. See a traitor poisoned the Bane-tree and if Oscar can’t get the apple, then the tree will die and then –

Matty: Hmmm. Moedredd? Poisoned trees? Sounds a bit familiar. I may have seen a play like that during last year’s Autumn Festival in Cair-Serano. Oh, the crème brulee was absolutely perfect – like eating a sugar filled sponge.

JD Burns: uh, Ok. But you were in the story, Matty. Remember how Moedredd sent Madam Fernoe, the fire witch, to capture Oscar. And then the seekers are chasing him and he has to stay one step ahead of them?

Matty: [tapping a finger on his chin] You now you talk a lot. Like Headmaster Whimbsley. Boring. Everything seems to be about Oscar.

JD Burns: Well, he is the main character.

Matty: So then what am I?

JD Burns: Oh. You’re a secondary character. You’re very funny, though. Oscar and you don’t start out as friends, but eventually you end up liking each other a lot.

Matty: [narrows eyes] Secondary character?

JD Burns: A very important secondary character. Nearly as important as Oscar. [JD Burns winces]

Matty: [rises from his chair] I’m sorry. Did you just say I was NEARLY as important as Oscar? That silly hedge-headed wood troll wouldn’t be able find the ground if I threw him out a window. I’m the one who’s constantly having to save him from whatever nonsense he gets himself into. Remember the time I had to save him from drowning?

JD Burns: [murmuring quietly] You don’t even know how to swim, Matty.

Matty: That’s beside the point. Now listen here. You claim you’re a bard of some sort.

JD Burns: Yes. A writer actually.

Matty: Well then. Tell me, in this masterpiece you’ve created, do I at least show up at the end to save the day?

JD Burns: Well, you’re there. And I mean you’re very instrumental in the ending.

Matty: Instrumental? Like I play a lute or something?

JD Burns: No. That’s not it at all. See Moedredd is about to get out and that’s when Oscar…wait, what are you doing with my hands?

Matty: [holding JD Burns by the wrist] Measuring you for your shackles.

JD Burns: My what?

Matty: [Steps to the door.] Well, I’ve got to be off now. I need to stop by the castle guard first and drop off your address and wrist size. You’re in great luck though. Tuesdays they scrape the slime from the dungeon water trough and all new prisoners get an extra piece of moldy bread.

JD Burns: [jaw hanging slack] Moldy bread?

Matty: I’ll say Hi to old twig head for you. [scratches head] Assuming the sentry has found him. Anyway, better luck on your next book. [Exits]

End.

Read more about Oscar and Matty in THE BOY AND THE SILVER TREE, the first book in the Silver Tree series.